Second World
As a kid, I hated China.
I dreaded returning home (回国), for as long as I've known, a place where I was not born
Where the air was so smoggy, blowing out snot meant blowing out specks of soot, and masks were fashionable
Where creeks were so polluted, they ran sluggish and green with a stench, not clear like they used to be, as my father remembered
Where people looked at and judged me for being tan in a t-shirt and denim shorts, puzzling over my uncomfortable Mandarin, spoken with care.
They didn't understand WHAT I was.
Where every man smoked, and I, having taken D.A.R.E. in school, could not leave behind the smell of cigarettes in restaurants or on my grandfather
Where sweatshop and factory workers ended their lives, exhausted of the labor needed to supply the demand a world away
Where cheap goods became the hallmarks of our Wal-Marts, "Made in China," replacing the porcelain that was once called China too.
My parents told me about censorship, June Fourth, famine, The Rape of Nanking. We are happy to be here, in the States.
But as I walk past a student at school, he turns and says, "Konichiwa!" I take a train to a nearby city, and a man shouts, "NEE HOW MAH!" My teacher confuses me for my Vietnamese friend, whose hair does not match mine. She is original -
as I am.
They don't understand WHAT I am.
I wonder what the people who judged my tan would think, a world away.
I am still trying to understand WHO I am.
-
Second World
May 14th, 2018
I dreaded returning home (回国), for as long as I've known, a place where I was not born
Where the air was so smoggy, blowing out snot meant blowing out specks of soot, and masks were fashionable
Where creeks were so polluted, they ran sluggish and green with a stench, not clear like they used to be, as my father remembered
Where people looked at and judged me for being tan in a t-shirt and denim shorts, puzzling over my uncomfortable Mandarin, spoken with care.
They didn't understand WHAT I was.
Where every man smoked, and I, having taken D.A.R.E. in school, could not leave behind the smell of cigarettes in restaurants or on my grandfather
Where sweatshop and factory workers ended their lives, exhausted of the labor needed to supply the demand a world away
Where cheap goods became the hallmarks of our Wal-Marts, "Made in China," replacing the porcelain that was once called China too.
My parents told me about censorship, June Fourth, famine, The Rape of Nanking. We are happy to be here, in the States.
But as I walk past a student at school, he turns and says, "Konichiwa!" I take a train to a nearby city, and a man shouts, "NEE HOW MAH!" My teacher confuses me for my Vietnamese friend, whose hair does not match mine. She is original -
as I am.
They don't understand WHAT I am.
I wonder what the people who judged my tan would think, a world away.
I am still trying to understand WHO I am.
-
Second World
May 14th, 2018
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