What I've Learned by 25

The title is self-explanatory. After some reflection, I've decided that these 10 things are some of the important things I've learned throughout the years.

1. Leave a paper trail. Make photocopies of important documents such as leases, job offers, professional promises, and other things of the same caliber. Often, you will be in the position of having to prove someone's misconduct, so accurate and objective documentation of evidence will go a long way -- from a school administrator's office, to a landlord's office, and maybe even to court.
2. You have to advocate for yourself and set good boundaries. There is a difference between being likable and respectable, and being a doormat. If you give off the weak energy that someone could bully you and get away with it, you're putting yourself and your identity in danger. You're not obligated to do everything for everyone, especially if it's at your own expense. Everywhere you go -- in your personal life, professional life, and just in everyday situations -- ask yourself if the effort you're putting in is worth the reward you're getting out, and if someone may be taking advantage of your kindness. Your needs come first: your rest, your nutrition, your health. Sometimes there is an extenuating circumstance, but hopefully, this is not all the time.
3. Spend responsibly. Getting good at budgeting is about responsibility and accountability, but it's also about independence, freedom and creativity. Giving up certain things to make room for other things is both a practice in self-control and diligence, but also identifying what's important for yourself. I've given up regular coffee shop visits and rideshares, and I'll have a bit more spending money for plane tickets.
4. A practice of minimalism and digital minimalism is good for your mental health and creativity. The culture of consumerism in this world is built upon a foundation of convincing people that they should continuously buy things they do not need, to perform some task to assert some sense of superiority... from fast fashion trends to novelty beauty products to weight-loss products, to new smartphones, to party favors, and now YouTubers and meme pages that promote personal branding. Much of our identity in the modern era is wrapped up in what kinds of products we consume. Practicing some form of minimalism, if feasible, can keep you in touch with your own goals and values. Similarly, since much of advertising has moved to the sphere of social media, capitalizing on attention and data as a form of capital, digital minimalism is equally important. Take some time to track how much of your day you spend on your phone and computer, doing tasks that are not goal-oriented.
5. Consistency produces results. My mom always told me that there is nothing in life that can be done without hard work. Anyone who has ever watched a baby learn to roll over, crawl, stand, and walk knows that the whole process involves a lot of practice and a lot of hard work. When I started playing the piano at age 7, I was directed to practice for 30 minutes a day 7 times a week. Throughout the rest of my life afterwards, and especially as my repertoire got more difficult, I wouldn't really see progress or even maintenance of my piano proficiency if I skipped a day or two (or God forbid, went on VACATION). Whatever your goals are in life are, it's quintessential to understand that they won't be handed to you (unless you happen to be super rich and privileged -- but even so, the things that are handed to you might not even necessarily be what you're passionate about). The journey will be a refining process and a learning process. Consistency produces results, from maintaining a good sleep schedule, to honing any new skill you wish to learn.
6. Failure is just as important as success. Getting a D in high school PE led me to reflect on how being terrible at sports had not only affected my self-esteem as a child, but also affected my motivation to even try. I had to think about exercise and sports in terms of preserving my own health and happiness in life, instead of focusing on how people around me would judge me. Similarly, getting two C+s during my time in college forced me to think about what grades meant to me. I remember countless nights of having canker sores, being unable to sleep, and staying in when my friends went out on the town, and decided that trying to get perfect grades isn't really worth the hassle. Being rejected from a dozen jobs after graduating forced me to think about what kinds of marketable skills I already have and can strategically develop as my career progresses. And of course, reflecting on things that I could have done in a clinical scenario as a nursing student will prime me to actually put those things into practice the next time I'm in a relevant situation.
7. Leadership is not an innate quality, but a developed skill. Don't believe what society tells you about leadership or charisma. No one is a born leader. You do not have to be extroverted nor do you have to be a man to be an excellent leader. There are, however, plenty of character traits such as kindness and empathy which can be honed into effective public speaking, delegation skills, and solicitation of feedback. I've reflected on how growing up as a Christian Chinese-American girl has impacted my desire to become involved in student government or activism as a kid, and realized that I put myself in a box as much as others do.
8. Learn to cook and bake for the people you love. Quality time and words of affirmation are great, but if someone you know becomes sick or food insecure, there is nothing quite as wonderful as fresh home-cooked food. It's a good skill to have.
9. Learn to be honest, apologize well, and forgive well. It's easy to be non-confrontational and avoid a conversation that's too hard to have - e.g., telling someone you are interested in them romantically. It's easy to hold a grudge against someone after a big fight, when in many years, you may be mature enough to finally understand what happened in the prior situation. I have found that there are times where if I'm honest with my intentions and emotions, both to myself and to others, the reward is much greater than if I tell myself to keep my mouth shut out of fear of what may happen.
10. Neopets will teach you about the stock market, interest rates, and HTML. I wish I had something more profound to say for this last one, but it's just true! I did learn about all three of these things from Neopets, and all three of these things are marginally more applicable to my life now. Actually, I have heard a story about a blogger/influencer who started out making webpage themes when she was in middle and high school. She was told by her parents to stop wasting her time on the computer, and now she runs an amazing personal development blog. Take every moment as a learning opportunity, and you'll have a life of gratitude that never gets boring, plus more potential creative ideas for your brain to process.