Pain is Temporary
Around the time finals season roll around, the flowers on the trees around campus are still blooming and the weather grows warmer. The days became longer than the nights, but very few students feel as if they have time to stop to smell the flowers. I recall hearing college students repeat this mantra to each other:
“Pain is temporary, GPA is forever!”
Whether joking or serious, it was a good encapsulation of the goals we had in mind, the things we worked to achieve. Get good grades. Make our parents proud, and improve our job prospects for the future. Graduate. Move on to the next stage of life, as best prepared as we can be.
----------
Fast forward three years.
I like to visit my alma mater in the spring. In particular, I’m drawn to a tree on the west side of the Biology building.
This is the spot where I talked to one of my role models for the last time, over FaceTime. My weekends were booked with extracurricular activities and I wasn't able to see her in person, at her house. Because the status of her health varied immensely on a day-to-day basis, there would be times I had a gap in my schedule on the weekends, but she would be feeling terrible and need to cancel. The total commute time for the trip would have been 2-3 hours. As a student living on campus, I also didn’t have a car or insurance at the time. So, we set up a video chat and had a virtual conversation under this tree by the Biology building.
* Based on my own anecdotal experience, some mental health issues stem from and are amplified by the fierce academic pressure to succeed.
** Food insecurity in the population of college students is something I didn’t even touch upon. It goes without saying that if you can’t afford food, then you won’t be eating healthy foods or consistent meals, and you are unable to take care of your health in the same way as a more affluent person.
Sources:
[1] Erik Scheele - One Year Older (composed for Homestuck).
[2] L Stojanovich & D Marisavljevich - Stress as a Trigger of Autoimmune Disease.
[3] Deanna deBara, Trello - Why Self-Care is the Secret to Becoming a Productivity Powerhouse.
[4] Francesco P. Cappuccio, MD, et al. - Sleep Duration and All-Cause Mortality: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Prospective Studies. Sleep. 2010 May 1; 33(5): 585-592.
[5] Laura Santhanam, PBS News Hour - American life expectancy has dropped again. Here's why.
[6] Wait But Why - The Tail End.
“Pain is temporary, GPA is forever!”
Whether joking or serious, it was a good encapsulation of the goals we had in mind, the things we worked to achieve. Get good grades. Make our parents proud, and improve our job prospects for the future. Graduate. Move on to the next stage of life, as best prepared as we can be.
----------
Fast forward three years.
I like to visit my alma mater in the spring. In particular, I’m drawn to a tree on the west side of the Biology building.
This is the spot where I talked to one of my role models for the last time, over FaceTime. My weekends were booked with extracurricular activities and I wasn't able to see her in person, at her house. Because the status of her health varied immensely on a day-to-day basis, there would be times I had a gap in my schedule on the weekends, but she would be feeling terrible and need to cancel. The total commute time for the trip would have been 2-3 hours. As a student living on campus, I also didn’t have a car or insurance at the time. So, we set up a video chat and had a virtual conversation under this tree by the Biology building.
After a couple months, I finally had a break from school, and thought I'd finally get to visit her. However, now she was in hospice care, and was too exhausted to invite guests into her home or speak to them. A couple months later, in late April, she passed away after a long fight with cancer. I believe she was in her early 30s.
The seasons cycle regularly, and the flowers on the tree bloom again. It feels so strange to have the privilege to be one year older.
“Pain is temporary, GPA is forever.”
Really? The older I get, the more I realize how utterly untrue this is. Yes, getting A's on our midterms is a good goal to strive towards. but I also know people with neuropathy. Sciatica. Arthritis. Back problems like slipped discs. I know students who have struggled with depression and attempted and/or succeeded in committing suicide.* And the pain is closer to forever than a GPA could ever be.
Most college students nowadays face this enormous pressure to be streamlined, efficient, and productive. We deem it necessary to forget about sleep, alone time, nutritious meals, or meals at all.** We can stay up until 4 AM to spend more quality time with our friends - after all, who goes to college to remember the nights they tucked in at 9? On the other hand, we can invest only in classes and elect to give up time we’d otherwise spend on our social relationships. We can jam-pack our schedules with extracurriculars, with the illusion that the things we do signify that we are better, somehow more worthy of love or success than those who cannot afford to do these things. I think of the widely shared diagram that urges the reader to “choose two” because you can’t have all three:
The normality of sacrificing our health makes me worry. Of course, it’s okay to have a couple drinks every once in a while, or pull the occasional all-nighter during your college career. However, in college, I noticed that failing to take care of your body in the name of academics is held up as some sort of trophy. “You got 9 hours of sleep? Wow. I only slept 4 hours last night to finish my project!” Scientists know that a cumulative lack of sleep kills humans faster than a lack of water or food, and may be a risk factor for Alzheimer’s and dementia. Other peer-reviewed sources link high levels of cortisol (the "stress hormone" that sleep inhibits) with decreased immune function, weight gain, increased risk of developing autoimmune disorders, and shorter life expectancy. In fact, one systematic review published in scientific literature and referenced in this handy Trello article about self-care and productivity finds that you're 12% more likely to die early if you don't get enough quality sleep. Health is a long-term investment with lifelong implications, but few meaningful short-term gains. I absolutely hate the academic culture that puts this kind of pressure to achieve on us, which is often amplified by parental pressure. Not to mention, more college students feel obligated to take caffeine pills or use Adderall to get to a certain level of academic productivity or efficiency, because they feel like they can't keep up otherwise.
For those of us who plan out our lives around our careers, sometimes I wonder about the point of it all. In the past, I was incredibly ambitious. It was easy for me to prioritize my academics and career trajectory above everything else in my life. But the older I get, the less motivated I am towards getting perfect academic scores. Though one explanation is that I'm getting lazier, another is that I'm realizing more how precious other things in life can be. Health, and my relationships with others, are two of those things that I want to prioritize to maximize my time on Earth. I say this with a heavy heart, while understanding that the privileges I enjoy allow me to have these things and experiences that others might not get to have.
Being reminded of your mortality is probably one of the most sobering experiences that a "young" person can have. I am in my 20s, and it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of believing I’m indestructible. Yet, given the assumption I live to the average life expectancy in the US of 78.6 years old, my life is more than 25% over. Of the things I remember most vividly: riding the carousel at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, hosting a successful sushi party in my college apartment, traveling to Oregon to see the 2017 Solar Eclipse.
What kind of life do I want to live? And a bigger question is, how can I use my privileges, resources, and support to make the most impactful difference I can in the world? Are there small things I can do every day that lift up the people I am called to be around? Since when did we become primarily defined by our careers, what kind of houses (if any) we will buy, or how much wealth we accumulate? This article called "The Tail End" sums up the time we have left by helping us visualize it with the activities we do. After graduating from college, taking a few well-needed gap years, and having some experience with the real world, I've learned that there is a lot more out there than academics and careers.
I tell myself that it’s okay to slow down. It’s always a good time to invest in relationships with the people who mean the most to us. It is always time to develop good habits, because these habits will help us develop character, and this character will represent the people we become.
“Pain is temporary, GPA is forever.”
Through it all, GPA is temporary in many ways. I've witnessed it in the way hiring managers will near-automatically reject my resume because they're not hiring, or because someone else has the advantage of a personal connection. I've heard about it by observing the lives of those who drop out of school and go on to be creative and successful inventors or theorists who think outside of the box. And last but not least, I've understood that you cannot measure the time you spend with people who may be taken away from you, with a mere number on your transcript. There are some things that are worth more than good grades and test scores, and as people, we are defined by much more than that. Even the students entering graduate or professional programs understand that though GPA was an important part of the application process, it will barely mean anything in comparison to first-author papers published, or years of work experience in a specific specialty.
In the grand scheme of things, even though pain is relevant for far longer than GPA is, I suppose it is temporary as well. In the end, we are all born onto this Earth, and each one of us will die someday. That understanding has informed the way I think about my goals, desires, and ultimately, what I determine important in life.
----------
The seasons cycle regularly, and the flowers on the tree bloom again. It feels so strange to have the privilege to be one year older.
“Pain is temporary, GPA is forever.”
Really? The older I get, the more I realize how utterly untrue this is. Yes, getting A's on our midterms is a good goal to strive towards. but I also know people with neuropathy. Sciatica. Arthritis. Back problems like slipped discs. I know students who have struggled with depression and attempted and/or succeeded in committing suicide.* And the pain is closer to forever than a GPA could ever be.
Most college students nowadays face this enormous pressure to be streamlined, efficient, and productive. We deem it necessary to forget about sleep, alone time, nutritious meals, or meals at all.** We can stay up until 4 AM to spend more quality time with our friends - after all, who goes to college to remember the nights they tucked in at 9? On the other hand, we can invest only in classes and elect to give up time we’d otherwise spend on our social relationships. We can jam-pack our schedules with extracurriculars, with the illusion that the things we do signify that we are better, somehow more worthy of love or success than those who cannot afford to do these things. I think of the widely shared diagram that urges the reader to “choose two” because you can’t have all three:
 |
| There are also variations of this meme that feature an octagon instead of a triangle... |
The normality of sacrificing our health makes me worry. Of course, it’s okay to have a couple drinks every once in a while, or pull the occasional all-nighter during your college career. However, in college, I noticed that failing to take care of your body in the name of academics is held up as some sort of trophy. “You got 9 hours of sleep? Wow. I only slept 4 hours last night to finish my project!” Scientists know that a cumulative lack of sleep kills humans faster than a lack of water or food, and may be a risk factor for Alzheimer’s and dementia. Other peer-reviewed sources link high levels of cortisol (the "stress hormone" that sleep inhibits) with decreased immune function, weight gain, increased risk of developing autoimmune disorders, and shorter life expectancy. In fact, one systematic review published in scientific literature and referenced in this handy Trello article about self-care and productivity finds that you're 12% more likely to die early if you don't get enough quality sleep. Health is a long-term investment with lifelong implications, but few meaningful short-term gains. I absolutely hate the academic culture that puts this kind of pressure to achieve on us, which is often amplified by parental pressure. Not to mention, more college students feel obligated to take caffeine pills or use Adderall to get to a certain level of academic productivity or efficiency, because they feel like they can't keep up otherwise.
For those of us who plan out our lives around our careers, sometimes I wonder about the point of it all. In the past, I was incredibly ambitious. It was easy for me to prioritize my academics and career trajectory above everything else in my life. But the older I get, the less motivated I am towards getting perfect academic scores. Though one explanation is that I'm getting lazier, another is that I'm realizing more how precious other things in life can be. Health, and my relationships with others, are two of those things that I want to prioritize to maximize my time on Earth. I say this with a heavy heart, while understanding that the privileges I enjoy allow me to have these things and experiences that others might not get to have.
Being reminded of your mortality is probably one of the most sobering experiences that a "young" person can have. I am in my 20s, and it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of believing I’m indestructible. Yet, given the assumption I live to the average life expectancy in the US of 78.6 years old, my life is more than 25% over. Of the things I remember most vividly: riding the carousel at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, hosting a successful sushi party in my college apartment, traveling to Oregon to see the 2017 Solar Eclipse.
What kind of life do I want to live? And a bigger question is, how can I use my privileges, resources, and support to make the most impactful difference I can in the world? Are there small things I can do every day that lift up the people I am called to be around? Since when did we become primarily defined by our careers, what kind of houses (if any) we will buy, or how much wealth we accumulate? This article called "The Tail End" sums up the time we have left by helping us visualize it with the activities we do. After graduating from college, taking a few well-needed gap years, and having some experience with the real world, I've learned that there is a lot more out there than academics and careers.
I tell myself that it’s okay to slow down. It’s always a good time to invest in relationships with the people who mean the most to us. It is always time to develop good habits, because these habits will help us develop character, and this character will represent the people we become.
“Pain is temporary, GPA is forever.”
Through it all, GPA is temporary in many ways. I've witnessed it in the way hiring managers will near-automatically reject my resume because they're not hiring, or because someone else has the advantage of a personal connection. I've heard about it by observing the lives of those who drop out of school and go on to be creative and successful inventors or theorists who think outside of the box. And last but not least, I've understood that you cannot measure the time you spend with people who may be taken away from you, with a mere number on your transcript. There are some things that are worth more than good grades and test scores, and as people, we are defined by much more than that. Even the students entering graduate or professional programs understand that though GPA was an important part of the application process, it will barely mean anything in comparison to first-author papers published, or years of work experience in a specific specialty.
In the grand scheme of things, even though pain is relevant for far longer than GPA is, I suppose it is temporary as well. In the end, we are all born onto this Earth, and each one of us will die someday. That understanding has informed the way I think about my goals, desires, and ultimately, what I determine important in life.
----------
* Based on my own anecdotal experience, some mental health issues stem from and are amplified by the fierce academic pressure to succeed.
** Food insecurity in the population of college students is something I didn’t even touch upon. It goes without saying that if you can’t afford food, then you won’t be eating healthy foods or consistent meals, and you are unable to take care of your health in the same way as a more affluent person.
Sources:
[1] Erik Scheele - One Year Older (composed for Homestuck).
[2] L Stojanovich & D Marisavljevich - Stress as a Trigger of Autoimmune Disease.
[3] Deanna deBara, Trello - Why Self-Care is the Secret to Becoming a Productivity Powerhouse.
[4] Francesco P. Cappuccio, MD, et al. - Sleep Duration and All-Cause Mortality: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Prospective Studies. Sleep. 2010 May 1; 33(5): 585-592.
[5] Laura Santhanam, PBS News Hour - American life expectancy has dropped again. Here's why.
[6] Wait But Why - The Tail End.
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